Hubris
I have ten days before my marathon and my running is subpar so I'm not expecting a PR. I do feel good enough healthwise to finish it but seeing how the temperature in North Bend is hovering around 70 degrees, I don't think this will be pretty.
I went for a 5 mile run this morning before it got too hot and I started doing the "if only" thoughts. I was in great shape last October as I was getting ready for the NYC marathon. The marathon was only a few weeks away and I weighed ten pounds lighter than I do now and was steadily running at a 9:30 pace. NYC was my destination run but I was going to follow that up a month later with CIM which I might have been able to BQ in. Then I broke my collarbone on an easy ride I went on with friends and I had to cancel plans for both marathons. Looking back, had I not signed up for that bike ride and kept the focus on running, I might have BQ'd last Dec. I was dreaming of the BQ and the NYC run and imagining how happy I would be to finally BQ and thinking about the different ways I could post on FB announcing my BQ when it all went to crap as I fell off my bicycle.
Hubris...that is the word that comes to mind. I could say my dreams of posting on FB were motivating me to keep running but it was also hubris. I guess there's a fine line between psyching yourself for motivation and feeling entitled to the accolade because you deserve it.
Which leads me to the high number of deaths I've been reading about on Mt. Everest. I've always fantasized about climbing Mt. Everest. It became more of an obsession after I climbed Kilimanjaro and went trekking in Nepal. I thought this could be a bucket list item. It would be costly but I would pay it if it meant I would stand on the highest spot on Earth. Then I started reading about all these unprepared tourists who were nearly carried up to the summit and down to abide by the guarantee of a summit per contracts. I wasn't aware of them until I read "Into Thin Air" where the author recounts the wealthy socialite who paid someone to drag her to the top. Then lately with the crop of low-cost local guides blossoming in Nepal and India, the number of inexperienced climbers soared. Now there is an actual traffic jam on Hillary's Step, the last climb before the summit. This jam has caused some climbers to wait as long as 12 hours in order to summit. The delay in summiting has been blamed for the 11 deaths in the last couple of weeks.
For some of these climbers, it was all about posting on Instagram or FB. Pushed forward by Hubris, showing the world they were better than god.
I will not even think of climbing Everest any more. My ambitions are much smaller but I still suffer from hubris at times and I get little reminders. I was trying for a BQ by signing up for an obscure downhill marathon in Washington state. My training was going well, I was concentrating only on running when I sprained my toe at the peak of my training and got diverticulitis. The BQ plan for the Tunnel Marathon is no longer viable. I will just try to finish and lick my wounds.
I went for a 5 mile run this morning before it got too hot and I started doing the "if only" thoughts. I was in great shape last October as I was getting ready for the NYC marathon. The marathon was only a few weeks away and I weighed ten pounds lighter than I do now and was steadily running at a 9:30 pace. NYC was my destination run but I was going to follow that up a month later with CIM which I might have been able to BQ in. Then I broke my collarbone on an easy ride I went on with friends and I had to cancel plans for both marathons. Looking back, had I not signed up for that bike ride and kept the focus on running, I might have BQ'd last Dec. I was dreaming of the BQ and the NYC run and imagining how happy I would be to finally BQ and thinking about the different ways I could post on FB announcing my BQ when it all went to crap as I fell off my bicycle.
Hubris...that is the word that comes to mind. I could say my dreams of posting on FB were motivating me to keep running but it was also hubris. I guess there's a fine line between psyching yourself for motivation and feeling entitled to the accolade because you deserve it.
Which leads me to the high number of deaths I've been reading about on Mt. Everest. I've always fantasized about climbing Mt. Everest. It became more of an obsession after I climbed Kilimanjaro and went trekking in Nepal. I thought this could be a bucket list item. It would be costly but I would pay it if it meant I would stand on the highest spot on Earth. Then I started reading about all these unprepared tourists who were nearly carried up to the summit and down to abide by the guarantee of a summit per contracts. I wasn't aware of them until I read "Into Thin Air" where the author recounts the wealthy socialite who paid someone to drag her to the top. Then lately with the crop of low-cost local guides blossoming in Nepal and India, the number of inexperienced climbers soared. Now there is an actual traffic jam on Hillary's Step, the last climb before the summit. This jam has caused some climbers to wait as long as 12 hours in order to summit. The delay in summiting has been blamed for the 11 deaths in the last couple of weeks.
For some of these climbers, it was all about posting on Instagram or FB. Pushed forward by Hubris, showing the world they were better than god.
I will not even think of climbing Everest any more. My ambitions are much smaller but I still suffer from hubris at times and I get little reminders. I was trying for a BQ by signing up for an obscure downhill marathon in Washington state. My training was going well, I was concentrating only on running when I sprained my toe at the peak of my training and got diverticulitis. The BQ plan for the Tunnel Marathon is no longer viable. I will just try to finish and lick my wounds.
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